Nike coined the phrase “just do it” around the time I was in high school. It was all over t-shirts, hats, and the athletic kids who scored more than touchdowns on Friday nights. The surprising thing is that despite my musical background back then, “just do it” lingers in my mind as something more than a slogan. Between anxiety and expanding my mind into things that challenge my levels of comfort, sometimes you can’t just sit around and dwell about the “what ifs”. I’m beginning to realize that when you really want something you have to just do it.
I have worked with a company diligently for a little over a year now with some of the best people one could ever meet. My job consists of a blend of the unexpected with a hint of the usual. You never really know what you are going to encounter upon beginning a shift, but in a way that’s part of the fun. We create a product that becomes vital to the creation of other products and I love it. With that said, most days I tend to stare at the wall in front of my couch before I get ready for work. It’s not that I’m tired or that I’m distracted by the TV, but I almost seem to be stuck within myself dreading all the bad things that can happen (and no, I’m not getting my limbs ripped off in any of these scenarios so save that for “The Walking Dead”). I sit in a daze with everything from mechanical issues to how hot or cold it’s going to be in the plant clouding my thoughts. Before I know it, I have fifteen minutes to get to work and I’m still in my pajamas. I have no choice but to take my pill and just do it.
It isn’t always gloom and doom however. For as long as I can remember, I have been an awkward mess. I have a hard time speaking my mind at times and if there is an awkward situation at hand, I am bound to be close by. Social situations are the worst for this behavior. You won’t find me at local events or at a bar by myself because people make me nervous. I swear that I will say or do the wrong thing and upset those around me. I can’t be myself because I don’t feel normal and honestly, I’m fed up with it. I’m done being that person because I hate him. If you remember my bucket list posting, here is the first initiative. I will make an effort to put myself out there. I am going to start the conversations, go out in town and try new things, laugh at myself even more, and I’m not going to think about it more than making the plan. I’m going to just do it.
When you have anxiety, sometimes you feel like the world is against you. It feels almost like everything you do is judged by everyone and that you have to do things just right in order to make it through the day in one piece. Although it can be hard to see things in a different perspective, you have to learn an important lesson. You are your own worst enemy in these times. It takes a lot to bridge the gap between where you feel trapped and where you want to be as a person and in life, but it’s not impossible. I am not by any means saying this is easy to do, but if you don’t believe me then you should try it. Think of something you want to do but you are letting your anxiety hold you back. Now take a deep breath and just do it. It may be the best experience you have had in a long time.